Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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