In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Terrible idea I love it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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