just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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