Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
whose parrot is this?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
