remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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