What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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