This girl is more easily done than said...
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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