kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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