U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
