i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
