Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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