i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
