I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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