North Korea, Best Korea!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
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