im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
