She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
