i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
