i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
