Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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