i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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