Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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