Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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