you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
