my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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