im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
