Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
