Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
