Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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