I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
