2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
