so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it because I queefed?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
