My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Its about making memories worth repressing
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
