I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
