Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
