This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
