I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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