Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
