Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
