Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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