Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
