I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
