he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
