I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
