instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
