just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
