what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
