Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
