We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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