I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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