He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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