Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
